Murphy's Rules of Military Combat

1. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down. 
2. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
* when you're ready for them.
* when you're not ready for them. 
3. All 15 round magazines will be a few rounds short in a firefight.
4. All five second grenades are three seconds.
5. All-weather close support doesn't work in bad weather.
6. Ammo is cheap; your life isn't.
7. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. 
8. Armored vehicles are bullet magnets, a moving foxhole that attracts attention.
9. Beer math is "2 beers x 37 men = 49 cases."
10. Body count math: 2 guerrillas plus one portable plus 2 pigs = 37 enemy killed in action.
11. Cluster bombing from B-25s and C-130s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
12. Don't be conspicuous.  In the combat zone, it draws fire.  Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
13. Final protective fire doesn't.
14. Friendly fire ain't.
15. If it's stupid but works, it's not stupid.
16. If the enemy is in range, so are you. 
17. If you are forward of your position, artillery will fall short.
18. If you are short everything except enemy, you're in combat.
19. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in combat.
20. If you can see the enemy, he can see you too.
21. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards YOU.
22. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap. 
23. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
24. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
25. Incoming fire has the right-of-way.
26. It's easier to expend material in combat than to fill out the forms for Graves Registration.
27. Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out!
28. Murphy was a grunt.
29. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. 
30. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
31. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
32. No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy. 
33. No combat ready unit has ever passed an inspection.
34. No one EVER carries too much ammo.
35. Pilots who can see you when dropping you supplies cannot see you when dropping bombs.
36. Precision bombing is normally accurate within plus/minus one mile.
37. Perfect plans aren't.
38. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous. 
39. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
40. Recoilless rifles, aren't.
41. Suppressive fire, won't.
42. Take more than your fair share of objectives and you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
43. Teamwork is essential. It gives the enemy other' to shoot at.
44. The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other... and have no time to help the infantry.
45. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
46. The bursting radius of a grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
47. The easy way generally gets you killed.
48. The easy way is always mined.
49. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
50. The enemy side always looks stronger, especially when they are firing at you, to both sides.
51. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short. 
52. The important things are always simple. The simple things are always hard.
53. The law of the bayonet says the man with the bullet wins.
54. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map. 
55. The noisiest weapons always appear to the most powerful.
56. The only terrain that is truly controlled is the terrain upon which you're standing.
57. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
58. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions. 
59. The other sides weapons always seem to look better than you own.
60. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
61. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
62. The side with the fanciest uniforms loses.
63. There is always a way. 
64. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss. 
65. Things that must be together to work, usually can't be shipped together. 
66. Tracers work both ways.
67. Try to look unimportant because the bad guys may be low on ammo.
68. When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
69. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
70. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
71. You are NOT Superman.
72. You can win without fighting, but it's a lot tougher to do. And the enemy may not cooperate.
73. Your weapon was made on an assembly line by the same type of people who made your car.